That's because I don't really have anything that can be written about for an entire post, even though--YES I KNOW I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN FOREVER SORRY FOR FIGURING OUT HOW TO HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE IN COLLEGE--I've been away for so long. So here are a collection of things that I've been thinking about since I've not been writing.
1. Today I had to watch a movie for my scholar's class tomorrow. It was about a guy who walked the tight rope between the Twin Towers. And they tried to make it less scary by playing calming flute music over all the terrifying footage of the guy tilting and swaying 200 feet above the ground, but in my head I just scream: BE CAREFUL PHILIPPE, YOU'RE GONNA DIE. THERE'S A REASON NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T WALK ON TIGHT ROPES WITHOUT NETS.
2. Also, a lot of this movie is in French, and so as I read the subtitles, there's one part where Philippe says, "Out of frustration, I took all my clothes off." I'm kind of hoping this was just a phrase that couldn't be correctly translated from French to English, but at the same time, I hope this was what he actually said.
3. At work last Friday, I got assigned to work a serving line that I don't usually work, because there are never enough workers on Fridays. Anyway, this line is the one where you get to cut up giant chunks of meat into little slices. But since I'm not supposed to work it, I was excited when this other guy came to replace me so I could go back to my normal job! But apparently, he didn't really know what he was supposed to do. So I showed him, but I was really weird about it, because that's who I am. And somehow, knowing how to do something that other people don't know how to do gives me weird confidence. So this is how I instructed him: "FIRST!" I said, scarily, "you need to put on this plastic glove. THEN! You put on this cutting glove and your hand will get all gross and weird and it might fall off. THEN! You put on this other plastic glove. Then you take this giant chunk of meat and drop it here and then you SLICE IT LIKE IT'S DONE EVIL. Do you think you can handle that?" And then, I don't know why, he just looked at me like I was really weird. So I left him to fend for himself. The weirdie.
4. I'm thinking about getting a pet turtle.
5. Then again, that thought really isn't a new thought. I'm basically always thinking about getting a pet turtle.
6. Someone made a comment about marching band the other day, and made me kind of frustrated. I'm not even in marching band anymore, but that doesn't mean that I didn't dedicate of 1,000 hours of my life to it in high school. The comment went something like, "Why do schools give so much money to the marching band? They get to buy new tubas and we only got new uniforms two years ago!" Okay, this may have been an exaggeration, but the point is the same. So, strange comment maker, allow me to say some things. 1. In our band lobby in high school, there were pictures from 1999 in which the people were wearing the same uniforms that they wear today. If I can do some math here (which I maybe can't but I'll try), that means we've had the same uniforms for 16 years. That's 8 times more years than you. Also, tubas are expensive, and we don't buy new ones. We get to use rented ones from someone else, if we're lucky. I feel like I have more things to say about this. Maybe I should make this topic an entire post sometime. Okay.
7. Do you know how hard it is to shop for clothes? Maybe that's just me. I don't know. But inevitably I end up buying two of the same thing in different colors just because I found something that I like, finally, after being in the store for like three hours. Just kidding. You probably couldn't force me to be in a store for three hours. ALSO: I was trying to buy a swimsuit, and they're all called things like "Sexy Swimsuit for Women" or "Sexy Red Swimsuit with Cats" like, maybe I just wanted to buy a normal swimsuit that doesn't make me feel weird about either purchasing or wearing it. Can that be a thing? Not that being sexy is weird. Oh, gosh, now that I've offended all the people.....
8. I have to go eat dinner. I wonder if there's anything delicious.... Stay tuned to see if I survive! (It might be a couple of weeks, the way this is going so far...)
Monday, April 13, 2015
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
How To: Chalkboards
You would think, this being the age of technology and computers and basically mind reading, that a college that charges upward of $45,000 a year to attend and use its facilities could find the place in its budget for upgrading from the typical, probably antique chalkboard to a more user friendly, technologically advanced whiteboard. But no. That would just be too practical.
And you don't learn practicality at college.
You learn other life skills, like the sound [f] is a voiceless labiodental fricative.
Or that sometimes the adjectives go in front of the noun in Spanish, but only if the adjective is not comparative, or if it is subjective to the person describing said noun.
Or that in some Hindu philosophy, everything is the same thing, and everything is different things, all at the same time.
But practicality? Nope. Never. Who would ever need to learn things like self-discipline or efficiency or time management or how to cook something besides eggs, all things that come with learning practicality?
It wouldn't be that hard, college! To teach us how to be practical. All it would take on your part is showing that chalkboards are a thing of the past, and that you understand that having a more efficient writing surface in your classrooms is the PRACTICAL thing to do.
Now, to be fair, I'm not sure if buildings like, say, the science and math buildings, have whiteboards. I don't really have classes in there. But if they do, then I refuse to be fair anymore, because this is going to turn into a rant about why society places higher value on math and science and engineering and "things that take real brain power" than English and history and languages and humanities, even though you better know how to read and write and talk before you know how to do high level calculus if you want to get along in society, but that's besides the point. And maybe freaking out about math getting whiteboards long before the languages even get to know what a whiteboard is is not the best way to draw attention to this strangely inequitable divide that has haunted me through most of my high school career and all of my college career, but you have to start somewhere. But anyway. I was talking about chalkboards.
So, the classrooms I frequent are generally not equipped with such grand technology. I don't know if you remember this (because you'd probably have to be alive during the Middle Ages), but chalk is not the most pleasant of substances. It's all dusty, and if you do it wrong, it makes hideous, eardrum shattering noises. And, did I mention that it's dusty? There's no good way to get it off of your person. Either you leave it on your hands and suffer through having scary, probably flammable chalk dust all over your important appendages, or you wipe it off on your clothes, and then people laugh at you all day because you have white splotches all over your otherwise excellent appearance.
Or, of course, you could just leave the room to go wash your hands, but the bathroom is probably six floors away, because whoever designed the building decided that it was only necessary to have one bathroom in the entire place. (Did I mention that this building was the languages building, not the math one, which happens to have bathrooms galore? Oh, sorry. Off topic again.) But then you waste precious class time. And you're basically paying for all that class time, class time that you had to spend in a bathroom, washing terrifying chalk dust off your hands because your in danger of being too expensive college REFUSES TO BUY WHITEBOARDS FOR YOU.
Is this a sign that I care too much about little things? I don't know. Maybe. But maybe the little things make all the difference.
Here. Advice to the children who are choosing a college right now: Disregard everything else about the college of your choice, and go make sure it has whiteboards in every single classroom. Do it. Do it now. Drive to your college and break into the buildings and check out the whiteboard situation. Once you've done that, then go back to all your other requirements. Trust me, though. Whiteboards can make or break your day.
Just make sure you break them before they break you.
And you don't learn practicality at college.
You learn other life skills, like the sound [f] is a voiceless labiodental fricative.
Or that sometimes the adjectives go in front of the noun in Spanish, but only if the adjective is not comparative, or if it is subjective to the person describing said noun.
Or that in some Hindu philosophy, everything is the same thing, and everything is different things, all at the same time.
But practicality? Nope. Never. Who would ever need to learn things like self-discipline or efficiency or time management or how to cook something besides eggs, all things that come with learning practicality?
It wouldn't be that hard, college! To teach us how to be practical. All it would take on your part is showing that chalkboards are a thing of the past, and that you understand that having a more efficient writing surface in your classrooms is the PRACTICAL thing to do.
Now, to be fair, I'm not sure if buildings like, say, the science and math buildings, have whiteboards. I don't really have classes in there. But if they do, then I refuse to be fair anymore, because this is going to turn into a rant about why society places higher value on math and science and engineering and "things that take real brain power" than English and history and languages and humanities, even though you better know how to read and write and talk before you know how to do high level calculus if you want to get along in society, but that's besides the point. And maybe freaking out about math getting whiteboards long before the languages even get to know what a whiteboard is is not the best way to draw attention to this strangely inequitable divide that has haunted me through most of my high school career and all of my college career, but you have to start somewhere. But anyway. I was talking about chalkboards.
So, the classrooms I frequent are generally not equipped with such grand technology. I don't know if you remember this (because you'd probably have to be alive during the Middle Ages), but chalk is not the most pleasant of substances. It's all dusty, and if you do it wrong, it makes hideous, eardrum shattering noises. And, did I mention that it's dusty? There's no good way to get it off of your person. Either you leave it on your hands and suffer through having scary, probably flammable chalk dust all over your important appendages, or you wipe it off on your clothes, and then people laugh at you all day because you have white splotches all over your otherwise excellent appearance.
Or, of course, you could just leave the room to go wash your hands, but the bathroom is probably six floors away, because whoever designed the building decided that it was only necessary to have one bathroom in the entire place. (Did I mention that this building was the languages building, not the math one, which happens to have bathrooms galore? Oh, sorry. Off topic again.) But then you waste precious class time. And you're basically paying for all that class time, class time that you had to spend in a bathroom, washing terrifying chalk dust off your hands because your in danger of being too expensive college REFUSES TO BUY WHITEBOARDS FOR YOU.
Is this a sign that I care too much about little things? I don't know. Maybe. But maybe the little things make all the difference.
Here. Advice to the children who are choosing a college right now: Disregard everything else about the college of your choice, and go make sure it has whiteboards in every single classroom. Do it. Do it now. Drive to your college and break into the buildings and check out the whiteboard situation. Once you've done that, then go back to all your other requirements. Trust me, though. Whiteboards can make or break your day.
Just make sure you break them before they break you.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
A Life Update
Oh hey. Hey. Long time, no see. Sorry about that.
Do you understand how much busier life is once you're taking 18 credits instead of 14? It's a lot busier. PLUS: the classes are harder and scarier and filled with danger-er. And I had to write about the plague. I think you probably knew that, if you've been reading this blog and its scarce updates. But anyway. All I'll say about that is that I finished it, for now. So there.
In other news, I'm currently on spring break! It's almost spring, so, you know, they can call it spring break. Apparently it's usually next week, in which case, it would actually be spring, but no guarantees that it would actually be warmer. Because this is Minnesota. Gosh.
Anyway, when it was nice out, I got play some sports with some weird siblings I have. We even got all of them involved, at least for a little bit! Except when we were all playing hockey, Dan smashed my thumb with his hockey stick, and basically broke my finger, except not really, but I like to complain. He says he only did that because I kept grabbing his hockey stick and pushing it out of the way, but that's probably not true. He's basically a meanie.
I also went to work. It was terrifying. Actually, not really, but still. I stared at a machine that said, "DANGER: PIECES CAN CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH" all day for two entire days. That doesn't make me confident that it wasn't a dangerous job. Plus, all the little tiny pieces of steel sliced and diced my hands. That's probably bad, right? Don't worry. I'll be fine though.
Also! I found out that I got a promotion for next school year! I get to run around and yell at children! And by children, I mean other college students. And by run around and yell, I mean manage in a calm and collected manner, because that's what I said I was going to do in my interview, and they can probably fire me if I do it wrong. But that's exciting, anyway. It means more money for less work, which I could definitely use!
There's a bright red cardinal sitting outside on the tree, and he's being very distracting. Gosh, cardinal guy. Don't you understand I'm trying to write a thing??
In other, other, less important news, I'm currently being addicted to Maroon 5. For some reason. I don't know how long it will be until it wears off, because that's what addiction means, right? That the thing you're addicted to will wear off? Yeah. But--OH NO A BLACK COLORED BIRD SCARED THE CARDINAL AWAY. WHY WOULD YOU BE SO MEAN, BLACK COLORED BIRD? WHY???--their songs are currently playing on repeat on Spotify forever, and ever, ____. (I left that blank there to see if any of you fill it in the same way I do. Hint: It's probably because I went to Catholic school for nine years.)
And now I'm pondering what I should have for lunch.... That's probably the most important decision I'll make all day..... We'll see. Yeah..... Lunch.....
But beyond that, nothing interesting really has happened.... Um.... I guess I'm winning against the girl in my Spanish class who thinks she's amazing at Spanish, and that if you haven't studied in a different country, you can't possibly know anything about Spanish (a comment she's directed at me more than once). So there's some victory in there! Whose essays get used in class as an example of what to do, girl? That's right: mine. Not yours. So.
And on the topic of languages, I think it's now my life goal to learn as many languages as I possibly can. Maybe I'll drop out of college and travel the world to learn all the languages. (Probably not. But it would be a nice thought.)
DON'T DROP OUT OF COLLEGE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, GUYS. HOW ELSE WILL YOU GET A JOB TO SUPPORT YOUR LIFE THAT ISN'T FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS?
Do you understand how much busier life is once you're taking 18 credits instead of 14? It's a lot busier. PLUS: the classes are harder and scarier and filled with danger-er. And I had to write about the plague. I think you probably knew that, if you've been reading this blog and its scarce updates. But anyway. All I'll say about that is that I finished it, for now. So there.
In other news, I'm currently on spring break! It's almost spring, so, you know, they can call it spring break. Apparently it's usually next week, in which case, it would actually be spring, but no guarantees that it would actually be warmer. Because this is Minnesota. Gosh.
Anyway, when it was nice out, I got play some sports with some weird siblings I have. We even got all of them involved, at least for a little bit! Except when we were all playing hockey, Dan smashed my thumb with his hockey stick, and basically broke my finger, except not really, but I like to complain. He says he only did that because I kept grabbing his hockey stick and pushing it out of the way, but that's probably not true. He's basically a meanie.
I also went to work. It was terrifying. Actually, not really, but still. I stared at a machine that said, "DANGER: PIECES CAN CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH" all day for two entire days. That doesn't make me confident that it wasn't a dangerous job. Plus, all the little tiny pieces of steel sliced and diced my hands. That's probably bad, right? Don't worry. I'll be fine though.
Also! I found out that I got a promotion for next school year! I get to run around and yell at children! And by children, I mean other college students. And by run around and yell, I mean manage in a calm and collected manner, because that's what I said I was going to do in my interview, and they can probably fire me if I do it wrong. But that's exciting, anyway. It means more money for less work, which I could definitely use!
There's a bright red cardinal sitting outside on the tree, and he's being very distracting. Gosh, cardinal guy. Don't you understand I'm trying to write a thing??
In other, other, less important news, I'm currently being addicted to Maroon 5. For some reason. I don't know how long it will be until it wears off, because that's what addiction means, right? That the thing you're addicted to will wear off? Yeah. But--OH NO A BLACK COLORED BIRD SCARED THE CARDINAL AWAY. WHY WOULD YOU BE SO MEAN, BLACK COLORED BIRD? WHY???--their songs are currently playing on repeat on Spotify forever, and ever, ____. (I left that blank there to see if any of you fill it in the same way I do. Hint: It's probably because I went to Catholic school for nine years.)
And now I'm pondering what I should have for lunch.... That's probably the most important decision I'll make all day..... We'll see. Yeah..... Lunch.....
But beyond that, nothing interesting really has happened.... Um.... I guess I'm winning against the girl in my Spanish class who thinks she's amazing at Spanish, and that if you haven't studied in a different country, you can't possibly know anything about Spanish (a comment she's directed at me more than once). So there's some victory in there! Whose essays get used in class as an example of what to do, girl? That's right: mine. Not yours. So.
And on the topic of languages, I think it's now my life goal to learn as many languages as I possibly can. Maybe I'll drop out of college and travel the world to learn all the languages. (Probably not. But it would be a nice thought.)
DON'T DROP OUT OF COLLEGE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, GUYS. HOW ELSE WILL YOU GET A JOB TO SUPPORT YOUR LIFE THAT ISN'T FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS?
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
How To: Self-Induced Panic
I only have a week and a half to write a 12 page paper. And yet, here I am, writing this post instead. Because who wants to write papers? Not me.
Except by choosing to not do things that are important, I kind of limit myself to two states of being: 1. (the rarer option by far) Working on my project, or 2. Panic.
It would probably be a lot easier if the things I thought I wanted to research were actually things that were important in the 14th century. It turns out witchcraft wasn't important. So then I just started looking up random things. Because that always ends well.
And now I mostly just go to bed super worried and stressed about the lack of progress I am making. Plus I should work on all the other things that I should work on, like Spanish and linguistics and religion and actually just writing this post is very very concerning to me I might die. And I have to work.
On the other hand, occasionally it's not my fault that I can't work on stuff. Like when the internet is basically shut down for a day (most likely because of the 500 students trying to do research all at the same time, not to mention any normal internet activity). I was going to research things yesterday. I really really was. But noooooo. The internet was being lame, and I was forced to watch Fringe! Ahhh! Way to go internet.
But because of this strange inability to use the internet, I found a book to read about things, and then I kind of decided on a topic and probably even created a thesis, which was excellent and filled with magic, and then I decided that I was progressing too fast, much faster than was healthy, probably, so I stopped doing research.
One thesis a day is enough. No need to work strenuously.
Plus, there are only so many minutes one can force themself to read about death and people whipping themselves. So, you know, no need to get so macabre.
Ha. That was a joke, because my topic is Danse Macabre. (Yeah, marching band! Yeah!)
The end. Because I should probably go at least pretend to do important things.
Except by choosing to not do things that are important, I kind of limit myself to two states of being: 1. (the rarer option by far) Working on my project, or 2. Panic.
It would probably be a lot easier if the things I thought I wanted to research were actually things that were important in the 14th century. It turns out witchcraft wasn't important. So then I just started looking up random things. Because that always ends well.
And now I mostly just go to bed super worried and stressed about the lack of progress I am making. Plus I should work on all the other things that I should work on, like Spanish and linguistics and religion and actually just writing this post is very very concerning to me I might die. And I have to work.
On the other hand, occasionally it's not my fault that I can't work on stuff. Like when the internet is basically shut down for a day (most likely because of the 500 students trying to do research all at the same time, not to mention any normal internet activity). I was going to research things yesterday. I really really was. But noooooo. The internet was being lame, and I was forced to watch Fringe! Ahhh! Way to go internet.
But because of this strange inability to use the internet, I found a book to read about things, and then I kind of decided on a topic and probably even created a thesis, which was excellent and filled with magic, and then I decided that I was progressing too fast, much faster than was healthy, probably, so I stopped doing research.
One thesis a day is enough. No need to work strenuously.
Plus, there are only so many minutes one can force themself to read about death and people whipping themselves. So, you know, no need to get so macabre.
Ha. That was a joke, because my topic is Danse Macabre. (Yeah, marching band! Yeah!)
The end. Because I should probably go at least pretend to do important things.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
How To: Plague
No, calm down. Calm yourselves down. Gosh darn it. Stop leaping to conclusions! You don't even know what I'm thinking right now! You and your overactive imaginations. Snerb snerb snerb. No! No one has the plague! Especially not me! I'm opposed to things like illness, so horrible germs just bounce right off me. There's no need to worry.
But the actual worrying part comes when it turns out I have to a giant research project about the plague. Yes. The actual plague. Like BLACK DEATH BLACK PLAGUE GROSS PESTILENCE PLAGUE-Y PLAGUE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION. Ugh.
It's so unfair. One of my friends gets to write about children's literature. I could write about children's literature. But noooooo. I get to write about the pulsating pustule puffer plague of people who refuse to bath on religious grounds.
And there are beautiful entries in the book I have to read, such as, "Victims violently coughed up blood, and after three days of incessant vomiting for which there was no remedy, they died, and with them died not only everyone who talked with them but also anyone who had acquired or touched or laid hands on their belongings." (From John Kelly's The Great Mortality)
Thanks for that, Weird English teacher.
So I think I'll probably write about this guy who kind of might have started the Plague, if you so choose to believe in things such as curses and witchcraft-y things. He seems more interesting than investigating actual parts of the Plague. Plus, real medical things are gross. (I can't even deal with my brothers pulling out their loose teeth, so plague symptoms? I might actually die.)
This guy apparently cursed the king of France because the king of France decided to burn this guy alive for going against the church in one of his public statements. And I guess being burned at the stake is a pretty good excuse for cursing someone. Although, if I were going to curse someone, it probably wouldn't be with plague. There are probably way worse things. Like banishing all the turtles of the world. Or making sure no one could wear orange ever again. Those would be horrible things. And if I died by burning, I'd certainly want to punish the world just like this guy. "You have crisped me! I shall steal your happiness! May a million billion years pass by before the world sees another turtle grace its putrid land, and when the first turtle emerges from the dust of your deaths, may the remaining failures among you bow to it and worship it as a deity!" That would be my curse.
Way better than a stupid plague.
Man, I wish I could have actual powers to curse people. Except there are many flaws in this plan. Like, if I were to actually curse the world with no turtles and hope to still be alive, I would be pretty upset. Maybe I would amend the curse, so it would be that I would be the only one to have a turtle. Many turtles in fact. I could have a whole hoard of turtles, and they would be my magical friends who would embrace me and my life at every chance they got, and we would rule the world from a magical throne that I would make out of evil, only because I would use all my powers to rid the world of evil, and turtles for others, because they don't deserve turtles. So, um, this got kind of confusing. So sorry.
Anyway. If I spend as much time actually researching things as I do writing blog posts and doing other "important" things, I would probably actually be ahead of the game. But alas, I have no such self-control. I'm filled with the extreme desire to finish all 5 seasons of Fringe and catalog them. It's a struggle. Maybe I shouldn't have so much freedom. Maybe I should live in the library this semester. That would be easier to get things done. Plus, books about the Plague live in the library!
Ahh! Except maybe the books about the Plague actually have the Plague, and I probably shouldn't touch them but then how would I get my paper done and oh no I've invented an impossible to solve paradox maybe I should just get to write about children't literature that would be a good solution in which I would both be happy AND not have the Plague.
Please and thank you.
But the actual worrying part comes when it turns out I have to a giant research project about the plague. Yes. The actual plague. Like BLACK DEATH BLACK PLAGUE GROSS PESTILENCE PLAGUE-Y PLAGUE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION. Ugh.
It's so unfair. One of my friends gets to write about children's literature. I could write about children's literature. But noooooo. I get to write about the pulsating pustule puffer plague of people who refuse to bath on religious grounds.
And there are beautiful entries in the book I have to read, such as, "Victims violently coughed up blood, and after three days of incessant vomiting for which there was no remedy, they died, and with them died not only everyone who talked with them but also anyone who had acquired or touched or laid hands on their belongings." (From John Kelly's The Great Mortality)
Thanks for that, Weird English teacher.
So I think I'll probably write about this guy who kind of might have started the Plague, if you so choose to believe in things such as curses and witchcraft-y things. He seems more interesting than investigating actual parts of the Plague. Plus, real medical things are gross. (I can't even deal with my brothers pulling out their loose teeth, so plague symptoms? I might actually die.)
This guy apparently cursed the king of France because the king of France decided to burn this guy alive for going against the church in one of his public statements. And I guess being burned at the stake is a pretty good excuse for cursing someone. Although, if I were going to curse someone, it probably wouldn't be with plague. There are probably way worse things. Like banishing all the turtles of the world. Or making sure no one could wear orange ever again. Those would be horrible things. And if I died by burning, I'd certainly want to punish the world just like this guy. "You have crisped me! I shall steal your happiness! May a million billion years pass by before the world sees another turtle grace its putrid land, and when the first turtle emerges from the dust of your deaths, may the remaining failures among you bow to it and worship it as a deity!" That would be my curse.
Way better than a stupid plague.
Man, I wish I could have actual powers to curse people. Except there are many flaws in this plan. Like, if I were to actually curse the world with no turtles and hope to still be alive, I would be pretty upset. Maybe I would amend the curse, so it would be that I would be the only one to have a turtle. Many turtles in fact. I could have a whole hoard of turtles, and they would be my magical friends who would embrace me and my life at every chance they got, and we would rule the world from a magical throne that I would make out of evil, only because I would use all my powers to rid the world of evil, and turtles for others, because they don't deserve turtles. So, um, this got kind of confusing. So sorry.
Anyway. If I spend as much time actually researching things as I do writing blog posts and doing other "important" things, I would probably actually be ahead of the game. But alas, I have no such self-control. I'm filled with the extreme desire to finish all 5 seasons of Fringe and catalog them. It's a struggle. Maybe I shouldn't have so much freedom. Maybe I should live in the library this semester. That would be easier to get things done. Plus, books about the Plague live in the library!
Ahh! Except maybe the books about the Plague actually have the Plague, and I probably shouldn't touch them but then how would I get my paper done and oh no I've invented an impossible to solve paradox maybe I should just get to write about children't literature that would be a good solution in which I would both be happy AND not have the Plague.
Please and thank you.
Friday, February 13, 2015
I FORGOT THE LINKS GUYS I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T HATE ME
The weird version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJEoASUMZbI
The original version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6DA_WwO90c
If you're scarred for life, please don't sue me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJEoASUMZbI
The original version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6DA_WwO90c
If you're scarred for life, please don't sue me.
How To: Round Two
Oh yeah. Back at college. Because everyone knows that New Mexican heaven can't last forever. And don't get me wrong. New Mexico was amazing. And I miss my kids (if I can really call them mine) and the 55 degree weather and trips to incredible rock features and talking with other people who really care about the same things I care about and dancing to the Pizza Song (see possible links below) while making our own homemade pizza.
But at the same time, I kind of missed the chill of wind when you have to walk to a class that you really really like, like Spanish! and seeing snowmen pop up all around campus after there's been a blizzard and talking to people with different opinions about different things and also the pictures on my desk of all my friends.
So I must simply readjust my settings from New Mexico expectations to real life Iowa expectations.
But coming back for second semester is a little strange, I think. It's easier to get into a routine, because you already know what to expect, at least from things like food and living and work and all that stuff. All you really need to adjust to is your classes, and since you've been going to school for basically thirteen-ish years of your life, that shouldn't be too hard!
And even greater, maybe you even have friends to eat with!
And maybe you have an easier time of just talking to new people in your classes!
And maybe you aren't afraid!
Yeah. That's "How To: Round Two".
Because I do have friends that I like to eat with. And they are lovely people who make me laugh and who think about things the same way I do and who enjoy similar things as I do (Yeah, Settlers of Catan!) and who don't judge me for eating pizza and ice cream, even though it's Friday, and on Fridays we eat pizza and ice cream, even though I definitely forgot that today was Friday and instead ate a fish sandwich and the ice cream machine was broken but it's the principle that counts, right?
And it's way easier to talk to people in my classes, just because I think I kind of know now that even if you think you're basically sounding like a weirdie, everyone else thinks they're sounding like a weirdie, too. And life is all about balance, even if that balance is knowing everyone is as weird as they think they are.
And somehow, you're not afraid people are judging you for walking to the laundry room, because FREAKING EVERYONE has to walk to the laundry room. It's not like you're the only person who does laundry in the whole building. And you're not afraid of people judging you for buying a bag of chips at the weird store, because FREAKING LOTS OF PEOPLE buy chips at the weird store, or else they wouldn't sell them. And you're not afraid of people judging you for taking a shower, because (are you sensing a pattern yet?) FREAKING EVERYONE takes showers. Man. I'm pretty sure life is a lot easier when you realize everyone is just as freaked out about stuff as you are.
So I'm taking some fun classes, like tennis, where I think the main goal so far is to try not to hit people in the head with BOTH the ball and the racquet. And also I have linguistics in which I have to learn a new alphabet, basically. And philosophy of religion, which is like stabbing my brain with a stabber thing. And Spanish! Yah! Yah!
And I also get to work. Today, I served fish to starving villagers. Basically. Except they weren't villagers. But they were probably just about as civil as starving villagers. Anyway. I also am an expert at cutting lemons into wedges now. So if you're ever in need of lemon wedges, I can gladly accomplish this task for you. Even though it was terrifying, and I was like, "Why are these people trusting me with a knife when the first day I worked, I dropped an entire tray of coffee cups on the floor??!!??!!" But no one died. And since number of deaths is the way I measure success, I'm pretty sure I won.
I think I'll be able to survive this semester. I think. It'll take lots of food and possibly a pet turtle, but I will survive!
But at the same time, I kind of missed the chill of wind when you have to walk to a class that you really really like, like Spanish! and seeing snowmen pop up all around campus after there's been a blizzard and talking to people with different opinions about different things and also the pictures on my desk of all my friends.
So I must simply readjust my settings from New Mexico expectations to real life Iowa expectations.
But coming back for second semester is a little strange, I think. It's easier to get into a routine, because you already know what to expect, at least from things like food and living and work and all that stuff. All you really need to adjust to is your classes, and since you've been going to school for basically thirteen-ish years of your life, that shouldn't be too hard!
And even greater, maybe you even have friends to eat with!
And maybe you have an easier time of just talking to new people in your classes!
And maybe you aren't afraid!
Yeah. That's "How To: Round Two".
Because I do have friends that I like to eat with. And they are lovely people who make me laugh and who think about things the same way I do and who enjoy similar things as I do (Yeah, Settlers of Catan!) and who don't judge me for eating pizza and ice cream, even though it's Friday, and on Fridays we eat pizza and ice cream, even though I definitely forgot that today was Friday and instead ate a fish sandwich and the ice cream machine was broken but it's the principle that counts, right?
And it's way easier to talk to people in my classes, just because I think I kind of know now that even if you think you're basically sounding like a weirdie, everyone else thinks they're sounding like a weirdie, too. And life is all about balance, even if that balance is knowing everyone is as weird as they think they are.
And somehow, you're not afraid people are judging you for walking to the laundry room, because FREAKING EVERYONE has to walk to the laundry room. It's not like you're the only person who does laundry in the whole building. And you're not afraid of people judging you for buying a bag of chips at the weird store, because FREAKING LOTS OF PEOPLE buy chips at the weird store, or else they wouldn't sell them. And you're not afraid of people judging you for taking a shower, because (are you sensing a pattern yet?) FREAKING EVERYONE takes showers. Man. I'm pretty sure life is a lot easier when you realize everyone is just as freaked out about stuff as you are.
So I'm taking some fun classes, like tennis, where I think the main goal so far is to try not to hit people in the head with BOTH the ball and the racquet. And also I have linguistics in which I have to learn a new alphabet, basically. And philosophy of religion, which is like stabbing my brain with a stabber thing. And Spanish! Yah! Yah!
And I also get to work. Today, I served fish to starving villagers. Basically. Except they weren't villagers. But they were probably just about as civil as starving villagers. Anyway. I also am an expert at cutting lemons into wedges now. So if you're ever in need of lemon wedges, I can gladly accomplish this task for you. Even though it was terrifying, and I was like, "Why are these people trusting me with a knife when the first day I worked, I dropped an entire tray of coffee cups on the floor??!!??!!" But no one died. And since number of deaths is the way I measure success, I'm pretty sure I won.
I think I'll be able to survive this semester. I think. It'll take lots of food and possibly a pet turtle, but I will survive!
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