Greetings! It's been a while, because there was Thanksgiving and finals week and weeks before finals week and a bunch of other stuff. There was so much to do. It was terrifying. But now that's all over and it's almost Christmas, and after that I'll have three weeks to live in a giant room all by myself while my roommates all embark on excellent adventures. But I'll tell you about that later. Anyway, here's all the things you need to know about ending a semester that has been terrifying, just like everything else in your life.
Step One: Write three lesson plans in 5 hours. That was what I did as soon as I returned from my short-ish Thanksgiving break. I was initially freaking out a lot, because the first two lesson plans took me a total of more than 8 hours to accomplish. But apparently, with practice, you get better at things. Who knew? So I finished three whole lesson plans in only 5 hours and it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Step Two: Make a commercial about a raccoon, but make sure it's in Spanish. And by make I mean dub a commercial that's already in English into Spanish using movie magic.
Step Three: Sleep a lot. Basically, you should be sleeping any time you have free time. Even if that means sleeping on the floor or the weird, slightly uncomfortable couch or on a chair in the union or at a desk on the third floor of library. Also, because this is widely accepted as a practice for a college student, no one will even think it's weird that you're sleeping all over the place. It will just be great, and you will get extra sleep! Although, if you go to bed at a reasonable time, you probably don't need to sleep as much during the day, but if we're honest, no one goes to bed at a reasonable time.
Step Four: Buy ice cream a lot. Also you should buy brownies and make them. And then eat the whole pan with some friends in one night while watching a movie. Because that kind of activity is better than studying at all times. No question at all. Also, make sure you mix the brownies and ice cream together, because that makes it 7 times more delicious. Yes, this is an exact science.
Step Five: Listen to songs about zombies. Specifically this Spanish song called "Un Zombie A La Intemperie" by Alejandro Sanz. I have to thank Spotify for that one. That kind of means, in English, A Zombie to the Open Sky. Kind of. It's weird.
Step Six: I guess you should probably actually study. If you have to. Really, this step is mostly optional. I would guess that most people skip this step because it's really unnecessary, probably, in most cases, basically all the time. Studying probably just will stress you out more than you need to be stressed out, because you'll think about all the things that you're studying that you should already know, but now you've had to spend a lot of time studying instead of just knowing like a magician.
Step Seven: Play a lot of board games. I kind of feel like this is a self-explanatory way to let off steam and become less stressed about school work and more stressed about how you're going to defeat your friends.
Step Eight: GO TO YOUR HOUSE AND THROW AWAY ALL THE THINGS YOU'LL NEVER USE AGAIN. This is the best part of finals, probably. Make sure you get all the useless papers and random unimportant notebook notes and burn them. Or just recycle them, because that's probably better for the environment.
Step Nine: Celebrate. Interpret this as you will. Don't do anything illegal.
