It's great.
Anyway, I'm back at school, and all of my friends are gone and all of my roommates are gone, which those things are both basically the same thing, so that was a little redundant, but who cares about redundancy when you can have repetition! No one! Okay. Let's move on.
It's been surprisingly difficult to adjust back to what was essentially me for the first four months of college. No one tells you how hard it's going to be to be alone after you've finally made friends. The first week here was kind of crazy. Like, I went to bed at 9:30 some days just because I literally had nothing to do. And by crazy, I meant in a completely not crazy way, because sleep is actually probably way good for you. But now I've kind of adjusted. I can eat whenever I want. No one is here when I go to bed so I get to turn off all the lights. I've adopted seven gorillas and they're living in my roomates' room on the other side of the common room. It's all great!
(Also my sleep schedule hasn't been this consistent in years, probably.)
But being alone all the time also has some downsides. Like, when weird things happen to you, you don't have anyone to share them with. Or when you have weird ideas, you have no one to talk you out of them.
Which leads me to the title of this post.
One day last week (probably Wednesday, because Tuesday was a hard day), I woke up and I was like, "What if I became a vegetarian?" So I decided to try it. I was doing well. For about four hours. Because I had to go to work after class on Wednesday which meant I had to eat lunch quick before my shift started and I saw they had MIRACULOUS QUESADILLAS. (That's a technical term.) And so I grabbed some and I was eating them, but THEN to my horror (which probably would have been a lot worse if I were actually in a committed relationship with vegetarianism) I discovered that there was chicken in the quesadillas. So, I was a vegetarian for four hours. In which the only mean I ate was breakfast. Also, I realized that I like meat substances too much to be a vegetarian. Not to like the extent that my dad likes meat substances, but an important amount of my life has been about eating meat. So, apparently I'm not cut out for being a vegetarian.
And also, even worse, apparently vegetarians eat vegetables a lot? I'm not really about vegetables. So. Just another reason to throw out there for you.
This excessive alone time also leads to things like having giant important questions about humanity and the fate of our world and then having no one to ask them to. So then you just have to text your mom. Here is the result of that conversation.
And then apparently no one else thinks your life altering questions are of the same importance as you think they are? So how am I supposed to work with that??
Or you're taking a really interesting class about what it means to be human and you have intense thoughts about it and no one is here so you end up talking to yourself a lot which then translates to you talking to yourself a lot even when you're not sequestered in your room alone and then people at work look at you funny and you have to pretend you were asking the milk crates if they understood the depths of pain in Gregor's eyes as he realized he had become a giant insect and could no longer communicate with his horrible family (although he did gain a pretty cool skill of crawling on the ceiling with his tiny insect legs). And do you know what? Do you know what, Gregor????
Milk crates don't talk back.
Okay. So now that I've made myself sound like I've gone crazy, let's talk about the saxophone.
One day I went to the library, like a good little child. To do homework, of course, no play around on the internet. Of course. And I went up to the third floor which is the quite floor, because my fragile brain is no longer used to the sounds of human life. And as I was sitting there, "doing homework", (I purposely put the comma outside the quotes, just for you, my roommate who knows who you are) I hear this strange, terrifying noise. But there is no one there.
I glance back and forth from one end of the library to the other. Suddenly! a guy gets up and walks slowly around the table, as if he's stretching his legs, but I know what he's really up to. He's a shark, preying on the flesh of the air fishes. And as he sits back down, I hear it again. The noise.
The noise, in case you forgot, was a saxophone. Literally this guy was playing the same horrible jazz saxophone song over and over and over again, on the third floor of the library where anyone could have been trying to do work in perfect silence! That snerb!! He ruined my wonderful evening of nothingness!
And also, the part of about him and his gross saxophone music is true, but the shark part maybe not. He was wearing pants, so I don't know if his lower torso was part shark or not. It could have all been an elaborate disguise.
Which is how I should proclaim that in fact I am not crazy. I just have had no one to talk to for like two weeks and sometimes when that happens the weirdness gets all clouded up in my brain instead of escaping into the atmosphere. Which, I think as you can see if you've been reading this for a while, is why my posts got more normal-er as I started making friends. So if you enjoyed this return into the descent into the madness of isolation post, please thank my friends, who are spread all across the globe right now. And if you did not enjoy it, please email my friends, who are spread all across the globe right now, and tell them, in no uncertain terms, how much they have ruined your life.
But actually don't because I like them a lot and I want them to come home at some point and not hate me.
