How To: Pedestrianism

Okay so today I am going to write about this giant city that I am living in from the point of view of a lovely little pedestrian. Which is me. I am a pedestrian, along with--as I can gather--the vast majority of the population here in Buenos Aires. This fact would seem to lead you to believe that there are lots of perfect places to walk and in general not worry about being struck by fast-moving vehicles. THIS IS NOT TRUE.

Let me elaborate. There are traffic laws here, apparently, somewhere, in some sort of legislature, but you might as well call them guidelines. Like, the only place where you can really expect cars to be following the rules is at traffic lights, and even then, you're still putting your life in someone else's hands. Like, it says you can cross safely, but no one told the car turning right that you were crossing, and obviously they have the right-of-way, because they are a giant car that could kill you. So basically you better pay attention.

Otherwise, there are hardly any stop signs at smaller intersections, and you can expect that no one will stop at those. The only road signs there are are to direct you not to park somewhere or to tell you where you could end up should you continue following the road you are on. And sometimes (which as a pedestrian who doesn't know this city well yet is incredibly annoying) there are no street signs! Like, trying to get home, maybe there will be a sign that says my street name, and about 80% of the time there won't be. It's basically one big guessing game. So that's fun.

One thing I do appreciate about this city is its public transportation. You can basically get anywhere you want to go for between 6 and 7 pesos a trip which is between 40 and 45 cents in US dollars. So that's a good time. And it gets cheaper the more trips you take, which is also a good thing, I think. We took the subway today, which is fun, because I've never used a subway before! I'm pretty sure I'll be an expert at navigating things when I'm done here. At least that's the hope.

Back to scarier things, another important thing to note when being a pedestrian is that you also don't have to obey the traffic signs. If it says don't walk and there are no cars coming, you better be walking, you snerb! Otherwise the local people will definitely know that you don't know what you're doing, and the most dangerous thing to do as a pedestrian (surprise, I know, is not to get hit by a car) is to look like a tourist! Because then you're an easy target for people to rob you.

Also, you're not allowed to help anyone, because it could be just a ploy to rob you. So be careful if you're wandering around Buenos Aires, and all of a sudden someone drops all their bags, because they could just be the distraction for you, and you could be getting robbed if you stop to help! That's what we learned about pedestrianism from our orientation class.

Okay actually going back to two paragraphs ago, you can obey the traffic signs ONLY when you're trying to cross a giant road. Now, maybe you think giant roads are like, three lanes, four lanes, like a high way, but no. In fact, they are TEN lanes wide, but have crosswalks through them?? And if you cross without the signal because it looks like there are no cars coming (like we may or may not have done today, no one will tell you for sure) it turns out that the reason no cars were coming was because the light a little farther down was red, but lights can change, and suddenly you're only halfway through the intersection and cars are racing at you like literally accelerating even though they can see you because they are in charge of the roads here, so you better run you fools! Also, these roads are like, only one way streets, so that means once you finally cross, you have to cross another same size road going the opposite direction.

I'm honestly surprised that I haven't seen anyone get hit by a car.

Also, it seems like maybe in a city where all of your people mostly walk everywhere, you would want to keep nice sidewalks and stuff so the people don't have to walk in the road and die all the time. But no, I was walking home from the subway today, and apparently all of the sidewalks that had been fine just yesterday were torn up and crushed into holes and rubble overnight? What the heck? So there were just people wandering in the streets and walking through the car lane that was vaguely reserved for pedestrians, and all the car people were mad that they couldn't actively hit people who were in their lane, because there were more police officers hanging around, and also some barricades, although I've seen those be more effective in keeping people away from firework launches than keeping cars off of makeshift sidewalks.

So, in general, it has been a pleasant experience, and no one I know has died or even been injured from cars, but there is still plenty of time for that, I suppose. The basic rule of navigating sidewalks and other public transportation in Buenos Aires is that there are no rules. Or maybe, for something more concise, DON'T DIE. (I feel like that's how a lot of my blog posts end. I'm fine with it. It's good advice.)

PS: The food list!

• Avocado
• Quinoa
• Something that is basically a large empanada?? but I don't remember what it's called! It starts with a 't'
• A drink with the brand name Paso de los toros I think, that was basically grapefruit flavored pop
• Eggplant (probably the weirdest vegetable I've tried)

PSS: Here is a picture of Xander my bunny friend on my fan, keeping cool in this heat!

A New Adventure - How To Argentina

Hello friends!!! It's been a while, but now I have actual news to tell all of you! As of yesterday at 9:30 am (6:30 am Central Standard Time) I landed in Buenos Aires, Argentina. In a stunning change of weather, it's around 90 degrees here, while back in Minnesota it's only like 20. So this is not a good thing. I am dying. But not really, it's just very hot.

The flights were good. I have only flown a couple times before, and those times I was pretty nervous, but this time, I don't know, I felt way more excited I guess? And I started to really enjoy the taking off and landing parts. So that was cool. Also, I had a window seat on the first flight, and it was really nice to look out and see the giant snow clouds over Minnesota, and also almost every where else until Tennessee. I was weirdly in awe of the clouds, like, how do they even exist? They looked like giant snow piles that I wanted to jump in, but I could not. Unfortunately. Because clouds are made of water and if you jump through them you probably die. So that was a sad realization that I already knew.

The second flight was waaaaay longer, and way more Spanish-y. Almost everyone in the airport spoke Spanish and I was vaguely intimidated. And also everyone on the plane spoke Spanish except for the people who didn't, but mostly it was Spanish. So that was a good introduction to the rest of reality for the next five months.

Also on this flight, I experienced many emotions. It was a weird time. First, I was excited because we were taking off and apparently I like that now. Then, after like 20 minutes in the air, I felt like this was the worst decision I ever made, and I started crying, and it was a good thing the lights were off UNTIL THEY TURNED THEM BACK ON and I had to behave like a real human and talk to people about weird dinner and stuff when all I really wanted to do was built a sound proof cube around my body and scream into the void. But it's fine. And then I ate dinner, which was a salad with chicken, which was weird. And I become annoyed by the guy in front of me playing Sudoku on his in flight screen, and how he was SO SLOW and also put a 2 in a column where there was already clearly a 2, but I didn't want to say anything because that would have seemed creepy. And then I discovered that my TV thing had Brooklyn 99 so I watched multiple episodes of that, while eating and vaguely listening to Spanish conversations, and trying to ignore the snoring. Then I tried to sleep, pretty unsuccessfully, but the most comfortable position was with my head pushed up against the seat in front of me, but when ever I was almost really asleep I would drop the pillow and wake up and then be mad. And then after about four hours of that, they served breakfast. And then it was time to land! It looked like we were landing in the middle of a forest, which was weird, but we didn't hit any trees.

In the airport, I stood in line for immigrations for like 45 minutes, and it was super hot, and also I was still wearing appropriate Minnesota weather clothing, so it was the worst. But I found some other students who are in my program, and we talked and complained about the heat and in general made the entire process more bearable. And we found our luggage together, and we went to customs together and we saw some dogs, and then we found our airport transportation! And then we waited like 2 more hours to actually leave. So I have spent enough time in airports for a while.

We took a small bus to the university, and our host families picked us up there. I took a taxi for the first time in my life, which was a weird time. And then I took a well-deserved nap in the very warm room that I can call mine for the next five months. And then this other student and I walked to the ISA office so we could have a short orientation. And we only got a little lost, both there and on the way home, so that is a good thing!

Today, we did more orientation stuff and also took a tour of the city, which was cool! I got to see a giant cemetery where all the rich people are buried and that included Eva Peron's mausoleum. So that was cool, because I've learned about her! And we saw the Casa Rosada, which means Pink House, which is basically like the White House of Argentina. And we toured some other tourist-y places, and I got very sunburned, which is an accomplishment for February 26th. We took a lot of public transportation so we would all learn how to use it, and it wasn't the worst, except for the fact that it's still 90 degrees today. I have to use it tomorrow by myself/without real Argentine people to show us what to do because it's a holiday and we have nothing planned except exploration! Hopefully that will be fun!

And then I walked home by myself, which was an interesting time, because I got lost. Not like, really lost, just like, wow I walked a block too far, and then turned back and got to the right block, and then walked down a road that was unfamiliar, and then found the street I was supposed to be on, but turned the wrong way, and had to cross to the other side, and then realized I was on the wrong side of the street anyway, and had to cross again because I remembered that I always have to walk past the Buddhist temple in order to get home, and then I finally did. So, you know, not that lost.

We have an orientation at school on Wednesday, which I'm looking forward to. We get to sign up for meetings with academic advisers who will help us choose classes, which I am also really excited for, because I am a nerd!! Everyone else is like, "Let's party and drink and cry" and I'm like, "CLASSES!!!!!" So, I'm working on finding a balance between not being a super hard-core-like party-er and then also trying to do fun, exciting culture things without always being in my room by myself reading and doing works.

So I think that's all the most exciting news I have, because I've only been here for like 36 hours. But it weirdly feels a lot longer than that? So who knows. I will try and keep you updated on more exciting happenings.

PS: Also, I would like to keep track of the new foods I try, so I am going to put a list here, and will hopefully be added on addition blog posts.

• Tuna and potato mix
• Spinach cooked into an over-hard fried egg
• Empanadas - corn, ham & cheese, and beef
• A weird dulce (sweet) carmel handed to me on the street by a vendor giving free samples
• Juice-tea, I don't know what it's actually called, but it tasted like sour apple candy, but without the sour
• Guarana, a drink flavored with Brazilian fruit, fizzy like pop

PSS: Here is a picture of my bed with a stuffed animal bunny friend on it. Good job being a traveler, Xander!

CHRISTMAS IS COMING - ONLY 9 DAYS LEFT OF SCHOOL

Dear friends,

Hello. How have you been? It's been... two months-ish. That's the appropriate amount of time, right? I feel like I haven't talked to many people in a long time. This is probably the hard part of adulthood, though, where all your friends move on to the exciting and important things in their lives, and they (and you) are just so excited about what's going on that it's hard to remember that there are other people that are important and who have forgotten about you just as much as you've forgotten about them. But the important thing, I think, is that we can acknowledge that we are all very busy, and that sometimes, we just need to focus on our immediate lives, and other people will come back and we can catch up when we have time, and just because you don't talk as much as you used to doesn't mean you're completely not even friends anymore. That's a ridiculous notion that sometimes seems too true.

Anyway, here is my attempt to catch you up on things that have been going on. It is, as always, also my attempt to avoid doing homework.

Life is good. Life is busy. That's how it's supposed to be though. I'm working on filling out things for study abroad, which is quickly--occasionally too quickly--approaching. I have some friends who are studying abroad right now, and whenever I hear or read about their adventures, I feel like my turn can't come soon enough. But also, there are times, mostly during the night-times when things are darker and scarier and more ominous, when I feel like I've made the worst decision of my life. Like, I don't actually want to be a Spanish major. I'm probably going to die when I have to leave this place that I've lived in relative safety for my entire life. I will know no one and my life will be completely changed and death is knocking on my door. But that's probably just anxiety talking.

So, yeah, study abroad stuff is on my mind a lot right now. In good news, I just found out I was awarded another study abroad scholarship, which is super cool! And also, the price of my trip was reduced, so that's also cool. Now, my entire program cost is covered by my financial aid, which includes several generous scholarships, without which this entire adventure would probably not be possible. I'm starting to get worried about buying stuff and paying for other things while I'm actually in Argentina, but I still have at least a few months before that becomes more urgent. But any study abroad friends who have advice about money and buying things in foreign countries, that would be super cool!

In actual school news, classes are good. Sometimes I wonder about the relevance of my learning, but it's fine. It's weird when you go to a liberal arts college, sometimes, because things will connect in weird ways, or it even seems like things have no value to the rest of your education, but you learn them anyway because more knowledge is better, right?

Also, do you ever wonder why professors pick certain things for you to read? For example, because of a book we're reading right now, I currently know a suspicious amount of information about sugarcane plantations and workers in a specific region in Brazil in the 1960s, but what am I going to do with this information in the rest of my life???

Also, I'm taking an English class, and it's great, but I'm not even an English major. I just took it because I could, and because it's interesting to me. But how will this help me with the rest of my life? I mean, it probably will, but sometimes the subtleties of liberal arts frustrate me.

On the other hand, I only have 9 more days of class before the semester's over, which is vaguely terrifying. Because of the fact that I only have class Tuesdays and Thursdays, my schedule is very strange, and leads to me thinking that Christmas is literally right around the corner, but actually I will still be here for like 6 more weeks. I'm trying not to rush it; I want to enjoy the last times I'll have here for a while, but thinking about it in terms of only 9 days of class makes everything seem a lot faster and SCARIER.

I'm all about scarier. Probably.

Good luck with the last few months of the year, my friends. Soon it will be 2017, and everyone will feel so old. 17 is just an old looking number, so that's why they'll feel older in two months than they do now. Trust me. It's a scientific fact.

Welcome Back??

Wow this is the longest time that I've been gone, I think! I'm sorry about that. But I've been busy, probably, which is always my excuse, but if that's what works, why change it, right?? Anyway, I'm back at school now, for my junior year which is terrifying, because HOW IS IT GOING THIS FAST but it's pretty cool. So, I just thought I'd give a quick update of everything that's happened since, um, I don't know, April? Is that when my last post was? Well, it doesn't really matter. Here we go!

May 2016: I managed to finish my sophomore year of school here in Iowa! It was a good time, I took some finals that I probably should have studied more for, but regardless, I passed all my classes. Spanish was great, and I loved that class. My class even was invited over to my professor's house to have a lovely dinner of chili and cornbread, so that was cool! I like that my school is small enough that eventually you just learn where all of your professors live.

After that, I went home to my house where I lived for the summer. I got a job in May working in a bakery and deli, and probably learned that regular people can just go buy cheesecake in grocery stores if they want to, but that's irrelevant.

June 2016: I worked some hours in the store and hung out with some friends occasionally which was cool, because we're all so far away from each other during the school year. It's nice to catch up with them over the summer and also play with their dogs, if they have dogs!

July 2016: I continued working in the store and continued hanging out with some friends! It was a good time. Also, of importance, I turned 20, so I am no longer a teenager!!! What a miraculous transformation!!! My friends and I took our annual trip to a dangerous cabin in the far north of Minnesota, which is always a good time, and as an added bonus, I didn't even die! Also, I got to hold a crayfish (I think actually multiple crayfish?) but someone took a picture of me (or two), and I'll see if I can find them to put here. Hold on a second.



Look! There's the first one of the crayfish being good, and then the second one of me freaking out. Unclear which one is more of an accurate description of the whole process. Oh well.

August 2016: I returned to school, after working only a little bit. I came back to school, as you may remember from last year, to work as a student manager in the cafeteria. It was a good time this year, because I actually knew what I was doing. I wasn't nearly as stressed out as I was last year, when I was learning how to do all the things for the first time, which is good. Also, the other student managers are all really cool people, and we all kind of became friends, so it's nice to go to work and know that you'll have some one to talk to!

The downside, as always, is that PEOPLE ARE THE WORST and they don't clean up their messes. Like, if you drop an entire piece of pizza on the floor, maybe pick it up and throw it away, and DON'T grind it into the carpet! Is that really too much to ask?? Also, don't pour liquids all over the counters and floors! Don't come ten minutes late to a meal, and then be mad that we're closed! Don't dump salt all over the tables! Don't ask for an entire pan of meat! Don't leave your dirty plates and glasses everywhere for us to pick up! Just be a kind and respectful human being! Please and thank you!

In other August news, we had a lot of rain down here, and so we had some issues with flooding. That was a great thing to wake up to a couple weeks ago. Here's a picture of the parking lot of my dorm, in case you missed it:

What a good time. 

Also, classes started last Wednesday, which was technically still August so that's why it's going in this August section, BUT

September 2016: I didn't start classes until last Thursday which was September! Yay! Lucky me, I have all of my classes on Tuesday and Thursday. That's 6 hours of classes, which to you high school students out there, or real adults, might seem like not that big of a deal, but actually it is. That's so many hours. Plus, it basically means you have one day to do all of the homework between Tuesday and Thursday. But it's fine. 

So I've only had one class of each of my classes, and they seem like not the worst. I have two political sciences classes with the same teacher, who I've had before, but he seems a lot more interested in these classes than the one I took with him last semester, which will be good, I hope. For one of those classes, I'm reading a book called Theories of International Politics and Zombies, which is something no one ever told me I'd be reading about in college. Apparently, many governments across the world actually have real life plans for if there was ever a zombie apocalypse. Like, the US has 8 different plans, and also one of those includes plans for if chickens became zombies. So, if you ever think our government has done nothing, just remember that at least we're prepared for chicken zombies. 

I also have Spanish, and you all know how I feel about Spanish, so I'll probably just leave that there for now. More info to come after I've developed emotional attachments to the class itself. 

And then I have an English class! Which is super exciting! It's called disability and literature, and it's taught by a great professor who I've had before, so I kind of knew what I was getting into. I think it's going to be really difficult, but also really rewarding, and I'm going to learn a lot. The first book we're reading is Treasure Island which so far is weird? but good. Also, we get to watch Sherlock, which is cool. And Finding Nemo. And on the first day of class we watched an episode of The Office. So just try and tell me that class won't be great! 

So anyway, that's most of the general details of my life, right now, I think. Hopefully I'll be better at posting things this year, and if I'm not, I'll probably be posting stuff around March, because that's when I head off into the unknown for my study abroad adventure in Buenos Aires, Argentina at the University of Belgrano! (I have so many things I need to do for that, oh my gosh I'm going to die.) So look forward to that, and hopefully I will talk to you all soooooooon. 

That soon is extra long for extra luck. 

Remember?

Remember when this blog used to be a blog that had posts like twice or thrice a month instead of a blog that only has post every six weeks, if I'm lucky? Those were good times. How did this happen? Who let this happen? What is real life?

Anyway, let's go through the life stuff that's been happening, in case, as I greatly suspect, we don't talk as often as I would like, and therefore you don't know anything that's going on with me.

FIRSTLY IN SPANISH NEWS: (This will be in a bulleted list for your convenience, because we all know my history of having lots of SPANISH NEWS)

• My Spanish professor/adviser (I thought this word was spelled like "advisor" but spellcheck is telling me no?...)/best friend who is an adult and not actually my best friend/minion of Spanish and Hispanic things everywhere offered me a job for next year! So I get to be her faculty assistant for three hours a week and grade all her 102 classes' homework! Yay!
• I got a Spanish scholarship for study abroad!! I am so excited, because any extra money I get to put towards that is the greatest!! Yay!
• I'm currently avoiding doing some Spanish homework in which I have to write a proposal for my Spanish final project. I'm thinking about doing a comic strip, because, unfortunately, it's a creative project, and I am not creative, but I think I would actually enjoy this! I just have to figure out what to analyze. 
• My arch-nemesis got into the Spanish honor society here at school, and I did not? Who made this??? I didn't even know we had a Spanish honor society. That is the worst of my Spanish news. 
• Otra cosa: No trates traducir este párrafo. Es secreto. Si no entiendes, está bien, pero no lo traduzcas porque luego tendré que comerte. Bueno, el secreto: Las mariposas traen gorras para las tortugas que nadan en el mar. 
• Did I mention I am going to Argentina next spring? That's Spanish news that is so big that I just have to keep saying it over and over again. I'm almost done with the application for that! Yay!

Okay. I think that's all I have to say about that. I'll let you know if I think of anything else that you need to know. 

You know what's the worst?? Some of my friends are doing finals week this week, and I still have four weeks until I can go home. I'm just ready to be done with school and never come back, except we all know that by the third week of summer I'll be like, "WHERE IS MY SCHOOL I NEED TO BE LEARNING I'M SO BORED" so I'll try and enjoy this while I can. 

Last Friday, at work, we had a strange situation in which a strange child ended up quitting. Let me tell you about it. First, one person didn't show up to serve food at the main line, which is bad, so we were going to put this other kid on that line. But when we told him to go over there, he was like, "Yeah, I don't want to." And we were like, "Dude, you have to." And he was like, "No. I'll just quit." And then he DID. He just walked out and then we were missing too many people and we had to shuffle people around and everything was crazy and we ran out of stuff and it was the worst. So the moral of this story is, don't quit your job without some notice, because people will be mad at you for the rest of your life, and also, you will be awful. But then my coworker bought all our workers cookies, because they were great and really adaptable. I'm lucky to work with all of them. Except for the worst one. But now I don't work with him anymore. 

In other news, none of my roommates are here, so I've been listening to the same three Train songs for the past half hour. It is great. 

Sometimes in college I think I'm learning nothing, but then all of a sudden, I'll be reading something, and I'll recognize something from another class that I forgot that I had learned about it, and it'll be so exciting! Making connections with past material is probably important for learning. One time, I was reading my international studies book, and I saw a name that connected with my philosophy of religion class that I took last spring! It was so fun! Except neither of those classes were particularly great, but it was still very important! Good job, self!

Also, I've been drawing a lot of sentence trees lately for my linguistics class. I love sentence trees. I wish I could just draw them all the time. They're so fun. If you see me over the summer, ask me about sentence trees or linguistics or language or something like that. I like all those things. 

OH! I remembered one other Spanish thing! Last Thursday, we got to have class outside for Spanish, because it was nice out! My Spanish professor told us to go outside and move the benches into a circle for us to sit on, and I asked her in Spanish: "(upside-down question mark) Si hay personas allí, podemos quitarlas?" What I had meant to ask was "If there are people there, can we remove them (in the sense of tell them to move)" but what that Spanish sentence vaguely translates to is: "If there are people there, can we exterminate them?" So that's not that good. But. Just a reminder of all the things I still need to learn! Yay learning!

Anyway, I should have more things to tell you, probably, but I can't think of them right now. The title reflects the parallelism between itself and the first sentence of this article, but it also shows how bad I am at remembering things over long periods of time. Aren't I good at tying everything back to itself? Probably. Okay. I have to go do real work now, probably! 

Not that writing this isn't real work! Because all you people reading this are important! But I just don't really get graded on this. (Maybe if I did, I would write more frequently. Who knows.) Anyway, college kids: have a good rest of your semester, and good luck on finals! Adults/young children: good luck with whatever dangerous things you have to do that aren't finals but are probably "just as hard." 

Bye, snerbs!

Well Okay This Is Awkward

Short term excuse for not posting for over a month and a half: I was going to write this evening while watching a documentary for Spanish that was aptly named Chevolution, but it turns out that was more interesting than I planned on it being, so I had to pay attention.

Long term excuse for not posting for over a month and a half: I have no self-control, as we so merrily discussed at Walmart this afternoon, because in fact, our brains are not fully developed until we're 25, so I have 6 more years to go, and that's why I can't stop myself from laying on floor playing Diner Dash instead of doing homework.

But, considering that it's almost midterms, I should probably give a general update.

I have classes. They are good. Except for:

1. Economics. I just rediscovered that fact that I can't spell the word economics without heavily thinking about the perfect placement of consonants in relation to certain roundly-shaped vowels. I am bad at spelling. Or is the economics that is ruining this? This is my first complain. It is hard to spell. The second, more realistic complaint is that I kind of already know everything we've talked about so far, because I took AP Econ in high school. So this is just a review, which I guess is good because I honestly have no idea how I passed the AP test because I know nothing, but apparently I know enough to be incredibly bored in class. Also, my professor doesn't do anything because all the assignments are based off this $125 computer program that we had to buy. It just generates all the homework we need based off the textbook. And then our two exams are also based on questions from this program. So basically it's like he shows up to class for three hours a week to babysit us? And make us miserable at 8 am. It is so fun.

ALSO: My biggest complaint is that I have established my dominance over the table I sit at (finally) which means I have the whole table to myself, which is basically my ultimate goal in life, but for some reason for the past like three days, this random girl comes and sits by me at MY TABLE THAT I HAVE CLAIMED AS MY OWN. Like somehow she deserves to encroach on my personal space. Some of you less cynical people might say something like, "Maybe she just wants to make friends with you" but I am not about making friends! I don't even like people! Who did this??? I even like spread all my stuff out on my table so it looks full, but she doesn't get the social cues.

And it's not like there aren't any empty tables. There are three other empty tables she could sit at. I honestly do not understand why someone would choose to sit at a table with a person at it rather than have their own, private space where they can spread out all their work and not talk to anyone! Someone explain this to me!

2.

Actually, no, it's really just econ. All my other classes are good. Mostly. I mean, they're a lot of work, because apparently college is about doing work. It's the worst. Why can't I just absorb all the knowledge directly into my head? Someone invent that please.

For Spanish the other day, I was reading some diaries by some guy named Ernesto "Che" Guevara who drove on a motorcycle across Latin America, and there was a phrase that said, "Bajo la parra" which like literally translates to "under the vine", which is kind of weird, I think, in the context. But I found out that the phrase "bajar la parra" means something to the extent of "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER (you fool)" (fool part added by me) or maybe even "GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE (young man)" (young man part added by me). Which I think is pretty cool, and I will probably try to use that in everyday conversation, so if you have to speak to me in everyday conversation, please be prepared.

In other Spanish news, I applied to study abroad in Argentina next spring. Which is simultaneously utterly terrifying and exciting at the same time (implied by the word simultaneously, but added for emphasis). How am I supposed to speak Spanish for seven thousand straight years? What if I die or get confused or get lost or forget how to speak English or miss my friends and family or embarrass myself in front of people and then can't explain what I was actually trying to do because I don't actually speak Spanish and then just have to sit there in silence thinking to myself "Well okay this is awkward"? Those things could all happen.

But also, I could (slash probably will) have a good time and learn a lot and have fun and meet new people and not die and learn two languages and know more about the social and political history of Argentina! I'll just probably be freaking out about it until I actually come home in July of 2017 and then be like, "What even was I worried about please take me back" which is what I am planning will happen.

IT WILL BE OKAY, she says. AND YOU PROBABLY WON'T BE ON A PLANE THAT CRASHES, according to numerous sources who try to comfort me by telling me all about the fact that riding in a car is more dangerous than planes, despite the fact that my 10th grade chemistry teacher told me that if the door of the plane comes off, everyone will be sucked out into the air and then will probably die. But I appreciate the effort.

The rest of my classes are pretty good, I think, with nothing really notable standing out to me right now. But it is almost 11 o'clock, so that could have something to do with it. Also, there's been like 6 weeks worth of things to happen, so I could probably just be forgetting something that actually did happen. But it's fine.

There's been a lot of tiredness happening around these parts this semester, and I think everyone is just ready for break, which is good, because break is coming up soon!!!! In like 5 days! But for example, there was one day (yesterday) when I was trying to eat dinner, and I grabbed a fork from one of the silverware towers, and then I realized I needed a spoon, so a grabbed a spoon from another silverware tower, and then went to get milk, but as I was getting milk, I realized that I had forgotten to get a fork, so I went back to get a fork, but then I dropped the first fork that I had gotten, because I forgot that I put it in my other hand and how does a brain even forget that you are holding something, it can't just be that I was tired, there's probably something wrong with me. It's all great.

Okkaaaayyy.... Is that everything? Who knows? No one knows anything. That's something I discovered in my introductory anthropology class with many freshmen, who apparently don't really know things. It's great.

Basically a catchphrase of my friend group is either: "It's fiiiiiinnnneeee" or "It's great, don't worry" both of which must be said in a very whiny but endearing voice, that vaguely sounds like you're lying, because you really are lying, if only to keep yourself from going completely insane.

It's great.

How To: Vegetarianism (And Other Anecdotes)

Hey guys. It's been a while. And I have no excuse other than the fact that I am an incredibly lazy person, even if I don't demonstrate it all the time. But if I'm being honest, I probably do. I'm basically the human expression of a cat, which means I do what I want when I want to, but most of the time I don't want to do anything so I don't.

It's great.

Anyway, I'm back at school, and all of my friends are gone and all of my roommates are gone, which those things are both basically the same thing, so that was a little redundant, but who cares about redundancy when you can have repetition! No one! Okay. Let's move on.

It's been surprisingly difficult to adjust back to what was essentially me for the first four months of college. No one tells you how hard it's going to be to be alone after you've finally made friends. The first week here was kind of crazy. Like, I went to bed at 9:30 some days just because I literally had nothing to do. And by crazy, I meant in a completely not crazy way, because sleep is actually probably way good for you. But now I've kind of adjusted. I can eat whenever I want. No one is here when I go to bed so I get to turn off all the lights. I've adopted seven gorillas and they're living in my roomates' room on the other side of the common room. It's all great!

(Also my sleep schedule hasn't been this consistent in years, probably.)

But being alone all the time also has some downsides. Like, when weird things happen to you, you don't have anyone to share them with. Or when you have weird ideas, you have no one to talk you out of them.

Which leads me to the title of this post.

One day last week (probably Wednesday, because Tuesday was a hard day), I woke up and I was like, "What if I became a vegetarian?" So I decided to try it. I was doing well. For about four hours. Because I had to go to work after class on Wednesday which meant I had to eat lunch quick before my shift started and I saw they had MIRACULOUS QUESADILLAS. (That's a technical term.) And so I grabbed some and I was eating them, but THEN to my horror (which probably would have been a lot worse if I were actually in a committed relationship with vegetarianism) I discovered that there was chicken in the quesadillas. So, I was a vegetarian for four hours. In which the only mean I ate was breakfast. Also, I realized that I like meat substances too much to be a vegetarian. Not to like the extent that my dad likes meat substances, but an important amount of my life has been about eating meat. So, apparently I'm not cut out for being a vegetarian.

And also, even worse, apparently vegetarians eat vegetables a lot? I'm not really about vegetables. So. Just another reason to throw out there for you.

This excessive alone time also leads to things like having giant important questions about humanity and the fate of our world and then having no one to ask them to. So then you just have to text your mom. Here is the result of that conversation.

And then apparently no one else thinks your life altering questions are of the same importance as you think they are? So how am I supposed to work with that??

Or you're taking a really interesting class about what it means to be human and you have intense thoughts about it and no one is here so you end up talking to yourself a lot which then translates to you talking to yourself a lot even when you're not sequestered in your room alone and then people at work look at you funny and you have to pretend you were asking the milk crates if they understood the depths of pain in Gregor's eyes as he realized he had become a giant insect and could no longer communicate with his horrible family (although he did gain a pretty cool skill of crawling on the ceiling with his tiny insect legs). And do you know what? Do you know what, Gregor????

Milk crates don't talk back.

Okay. So now that I've made myself sound like I've gone crazy, let's talk about the saxophone.

One day I went to the library, like a good little child. To do homework, of course, no play around on the internet. Of course. And I went up to the third floor which is the quite floor, because my fragile brain is no longer used to the sounds of human life. And as I was sitting there, "doing homework", (I purposely put the comma outside the quotes, just for you, my roommate who knows who you are) I hear this strange, terrifying noise. But there is no one there.

I glance back and forth from one end of the library to the other. Suddenly! a guy gets up and walks slowly around the table, as if he's stretching his legs, but I know what he's really up to. He's a shark, preying on the flesh of the air fishes. And as he sits back down, I hear it again. The noise.

The noise, in case you forgot, was a saxophone. Literally this guy was playing the same horrible jazz saxophone song over and over and over again, on the third floor of the library where anyone could have been trying to do work in perfect silence! That snerb!! He ruined my wonderful evening of nothingness!

And also, the part of about him and his gross saxophone music is true, but the shark part maybe not. He was wearing pants, so I don't know if his lower torso was part shark or not. It could have all been an elaborate disguise.

Which is how I should proclaim that in fact I am not crazy. I just have had no one to talk to for like two weeks and sometimes when that happens the weirdness gets all clouded up in my brain instead of escaping into the atmosphere. Which, I think as you can see if you've been reading this for a while, is why my posts got more normal-er as I started making friends. So if you enjoyed this return into the descent into the madness of isolation post, please thank my friends, who are spread all across the globe right now. And if you did not enjoy it, please email my friends, who are spread all across the globe right now, and tell them, in no uncertain terms, how much they have ruined your life.

But actually don't because I like them a lot and I want them to come home at some point and not hate me.