Dear Prescribed Medication,
Oh how strange you are. I understand your importance in the grand scheme of things, like, I really enjoy not being so dizzy I can't even sit up. And probably you're very important to many other people because I'm sure medical advances have saved many people and made their lives easier.
However, I am skeptical of the fact that you have these so called "side-effects." Why are we as society so medically advanced, yet cannot make you without side-effects? Why can't you just do as you are told? I mean, if you have to come with a warning to not drive and to not make important life decisions, there might be a problem.
You also might notice, dear Prescribed Medication, that it is very late. Or early, depending on how you look at it. But that is because you are being very unkind to me. Do you know that I'm supposed to work in the later morning? You're probably like, "Let me just make you stay up until 3:30 am. That sounds like a perfect time!" But I dislike you for this! Why? Why strange thing why??
So, as punishment towards you, here are all the things I've accomplished while not sleeping:
1. Pretty much nothing important. Like, that book that I'm supposed to read for Friday that's like a bajillion pages? Yeah. I haven't read that. Probably because you also (among your numerous other charming qualities) make it difficult to focus.
2. Showering. Because people (normal people) don't take showers at midnight! Aha! Shower all to myself! Yes! Victory!
3. Blogging. Obviously. I obviously wrote this while I was not sleeping. I hope you appreciate how important you are to me/this blog.
4. Many YouTube videos. I didn't make them, no. Because I'm not that cool and because people were sleeping and that would be bad. But I watched many many of them.
5. Oh hey! I finished my robot play thing that I'm supposed to read for tom--today. It was really really weird. And I honestly don't know if it would be that weird if you weren't influencing my brain. I hope it'll still be that weird when we talk about it in class. I don't want to sound like a weirdo.
6. Thinking about how in almost all the books I read for English classes, I miss an essential part. Like, this one, I missed that the weird girl burned the manuscript. When we read Lord of the Flies in 9th grade I missed that Piggy died. Sorry. Those were both probably spoilers for you. Don't worry. Neither of those books were pretty good, in my opinion. In Persepolis I missed the guy peeing on the other guy. I mean, how do I even know I don't miss essential things in books I just read for fun?! This is actually of concern to me. Mostly just right now. It's probably not concerning in real life.
7. Stumbleupon. That's an actual website. Some people use Tumblr, I use Stumbleupon. And if you set the category only to Humor, that just makes it so much better. Because a) things are just funnier at night and b) I'm pretty sure things are funnier when you're being my friend, Prescribed Medication.
8. Music. Both my lovely, calming (although not really), familiar music and new music as discovered for me by Spotify.
That's actually a lot of stuff. I hope you're proud of yourself. And also, I have a band concert tonight. So I hope you're glad that I'm going to be falling asleep during that. Hmm. I'm wearing my turtle slippers. They're pretty cool. Cooler than you. Why can't I just wear turtle slippers as my anti-falling over medication? I think that would just be better.
As sincere as one can be when instructed to not make important life decisions,
Jen
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