How To: Reflection

Just, just close your eyes, and imagine yourself in a peaceful, happy place, surrounded by turtles (not the meat eating ones, the nice, cozy ones that only eat lettuce) and with a delicious drink of juice and ice cubes in your hand, feeling the wind blowing on your hair and maybe a soft kitten sitting on your lap (if you like that kind of thing and aren't allergic) and NO.

Nope. We're done with that. I want to talk about ANGER. Anger and madness and frustration and procrastination and ranting and all that stuff. Mostly because I'm avoiding do important things. I don't even have an advice today. Nothing of important advice-giving excitement has really happened to me. Soon, though, I get to talk about finals. Not that my finals experience will be a normal one. But I'll leave that til later.

So, first of all, I want to freak out about stupid group projects! Like, HOW IS THIS STILL A THING? I THOUGHT I WAS FREE BUT THEY LIED TO ME LIARS LIARS LIARS PANTS ON FIRES. It wouldn't be so bad. Except weird kid cited Wikipedia. And then I had to find a source that said the same thing that the Wikipedia article said. And you know what was the most frustrating thing about that? The fact that it only took me three minutes to find an article that said the EXACT SAME THING AS WIKIPEDIA. That means, weird kid, that you could have taken three extra minutes and gotten the same information, and I would have no reason to hate you right now.

And also, weird kid number two, maybe you could send me your notes. I mean, I basically know what they say, because I basically told you what to research, but still. The paper is due tomorrow, and you've had these note for like, four months. But I guess I'll just make stuff up because I have to work tonight, so who needs to know what you think about things anyway? But actually, weird kid number two, I'm kind of giving you a pass because you make that class way more entertaining than it would normally be if you weren't there making slightly inappropriate comments everyday. So there's that.

Oh, yeah, and weird girl? Maybe if you want to make me think you did your work earlier than you actually did by changing the citation access date, you should pick a day that actually exists, like not September 31. Sorry to inform you that that's not a thing.

Sometimes I'm really concerned about the people that they let into college.

I mean, there was an essay involved in this application process. If you can't even write complete sentences, how are you here? Complete sentences need a subject! Not, "Making a profit off of the incidental trends and swings of the market."That's not a sentence! Stop! Please, make it stop!!

Also, for this paper, I've had to do a lot more research than I originally thought I was going to need to do. Many of the researching things I've done involve watching videos about economics. It was basically like flashbacks to AP Econ senior year of high school. And I became overly anxious about the fact that I don't remember any of that stuff that I supposedly learned. And I worried that I probably shouldn't have gotten a 4 on the AP test. But, you know what? That's all in the past. Who never has to take another math, science or economics class? ME! Because I can memorize stuff for about four hours and then it's lost. It's all gone. Stupid brain.

Except apparently I have to take a math test to enter the teach program. Hopefully someone will tutor me, because I can barely do basic math skills. Although, why you need to know how to do math to teach Spanish or English is beyond me. Maybe they just want you to be a well-rounded person. But if that's the case, HOW COME THE PEOPLE STUDYING BIOLOGY WRITE SENTENCES LIKE "Making a profit off of the incidental trends and swings of the market."??????? Is this just a double-edged sword of swordsmanship that I am unprepared to deal with? Is this the real world that I am unprepared to deal with? Do I even exist on the same plane of existence as the rest of the world?

Is this what an existential crisis feels like?

I'm gonna go eat cookies now. Because that's nutrition. Yesterday morning I ate cookies for breakfast because I missed real breakfast. Maybe that's why I'm so irritable today. Someone who knows how to science should study those things. (I just turned science into a verb. Because I'm an English major, and I can crush all the rules.) Rule crusher! (For the record, only English majors can crush the rules of English. And only biology majors can crush the rules of biology. you stick to your weirdo science-y things, and I'll stick to my not-so-weirdo English-y things. Deal? Deal. DEAL WITH IT.)

Also, I should write my Spanish presentation. I kind of know how it will go, but I don't want to write it down, because I'm all about denying reality. (One of the articles I read today about economics said that poor people are poor because they deny reality. I guess that explains a lot. Or I'm just in college. I don't know. Either way.) It's like, if I go write it down, that means for sure I'll have to do it at some point in the future. If I don't write it down, it's more like, "Hey! There's still a chance that this class will be cancelled, or maybe the building will explode and your professor won't remember what we were supposed to be doing because all her notes exploded too!" Yep. That's definitely reality.

I'll give you a hint though. I'm doing an infomercial about turtles. And shoes. Together. Turtle shoes. Slogan? "Is your life going too fast? Strap some turtles to your feet, and watch as life slows down so you can enjoy every minute, second and millisecond!"

I might even use paint to depict my idea. That's basically skill.