How To: Live in the Arctic

I don't know about you, but I think the Arctic is basically Iowa in October.

I also think I just cut my tongue on an M&M.

But maybe you live in a more mild climate than I do.

It's not actually that cold out, if you go outside. But my dorm building is seriously freezing. I could be wearing four shirts right now, and I probably wouldn't be warm. If I was smart, I'd go to the library to type things and do homework. But my room is nice. And all my pictures of my people are on my desk.

I checked the thermostat in our room today, the thermostat that doesn't let you change anything, but just shows you the temperature, because that's helpful, and it says that this room here is 59 degrees. Fahrenheit, in case you were thinking that route. Why? Why, super old building that doesn't have air conditioning and also apparently heat? Why?

So anyway, in order to survive these frozen conditions, you should always wear a parka. And if you don't have a parka, maybe just wear three sweatshirts and then your normal jacket. And occasionally you should go outside to thaw.

If you have the magical capabilities of being able to have a warm beverage maker in your room, or at easy access to you, you can also make some type of warm thing with which you'll probably burn your tongue off, but at least you'll be warm, gosh darn it!

Or, as I implied I should be doing, you could go to a warm place to work. Try the library! They have to keep it the perfect temperature in there, otherwise people will complain, and no children will come, and they'll have to shut it down for lack of use! (Just kidding. That might be melodramatic.)

I'm going to have to cut this really short, because my fingers are actually getting too stiff to type. I need socks for my hands. That's what mittens are, you say? I beg to differ. Just because I like to argue. That's a lie. I actually hate arguing. Unless it's fake arguing. It just depends. GAH! Okay. I'm going now. If you find me fossilized in an ice berg sometime in the far off future, just know that it wasn't your fault. (Unless it was. Because if it was, I will totally know it was you, and I will haunt your face.)