How To: Eat Pasta without Salt

Maybe you're not supposed to eat salt. For health reasons. Or maybe you just decided to be more healthier. That would be pretty cool. But either way, or any other way as well, also, too, it may become necessary to find new and exciting ways to enrich your pasta consumption. Because none of the other foods served in your cafeteria are nearly as exciting.

First, of course, you always have the option of getting the sauce that comes with the pasta. Like the red sauce that's supposed to make you think it's spaghetti, but really. Who makes spaghetti without meat? Because that red stuff is just weird tomato-y junk mashed up and cooked. No one likes cooked, mashed tomatoes. Raw tomatoes, yes.

Or they have the basically deathly alfredo sauce. I'm sorry. I can't do alfredo. The smell makes me gag. But anyway. I guess if you're a weirdo, you have that option.

But after that, what else can you do? You can still get butter on these noodles. I in fact recommend getting butter on them all the time.

Recipe 1: Butter and pepper. Pepper adds a new texture to your pasta, and it's just as easy as having salt without the same destructiveness to your ears. Just be careful that the weird people don't put salt in their pepper, because then this whole adventure is for naught.

Recipe 2: Butter and the vegetables from the vegan line. These vegetables are usually pretty good, and they are cooked to perfection. Just be careful if there are onions in them. Because onions are dangerous. Don't eat onions.

Recipe 3: Butter and the vegetables from the salad line. These aren't the cooked vegetables, but if you tear up the lettuce and cut up the carrots, you kind of have a salad, with noodles! Don't put dressing on it though. That just ends badly. (Maybe I tried that once. Maybe.)

Recipe 4: Fruit. No butter on these! Fruit and butter don't go well together! I usually go with grapes, just because all the other fruit is hard to put into noodles. But if there are kiwis, those are pretty good too. You just have to work really hard to make sure you don't get any of the weird brown skin. Although I've been informed that some people eat the brown skin. Why would you want to do that?

Recipe 5: Butter and some type of meat. You can go to the sandwich line and just ask for ham or turkey or whatever kind of meat you like, and then tear it up and mix it with the noodles! Maybe even get the bread too, although probably not to put in the noodles. Bread is just delicious!

Recipe 6: Soup. You can put butter on this too, although usually it's better without it. But if you get the noodles and then pour the soup of the day on it, it just adds more delicious texture to the soup! Especially tomato soup. Mmm. I just like tomatoes. Not the weird kind! Remember what I said before!

Recipe 7: Peanut butter. You're just going to have to try this one yourself. Because, seriously. It's pretty good. And I can't even describe it to you.

There! Now you have a week's worth of lovely pasta based meals! You should try them all! And let me know if you have a different way to eat your pasta! I'm always curious!