How To: Parents

You've probably dealt with your parents for 18+ years of your life. But now, it's different. You technically live on your own and they're only supposed to guide you, not make big, important life choices for you. You have decide when it's appropriate to go see the doctor. You have to decide if you should eat that thing you really want to eat. You have to decide who your friends are and how late you're going to stay out and who you're going to be displeased with, all without the help of your parents. It's called growing.

Usually, I try to call my parents once a week. But sometimes, more often than not, it ends up being twice or three times a week. I think it's probably because I miss them, but also, it's because there's just so much going on at college that I need to tell them everything! But don't call them every single day. College is supposed to be about separation, to a degree. It's supposed to be about thinking and learning and acting independently. Because if it wasn't, we wouldn't need to pay thousands of dollars to live in a hall with a bunch of other people who smell weird. (No offense to the nice smelling ones.)

One of the best things is when parents come to visit!! Because they bring you stuff. They should both bring you the things you've forgotten at home since you left, which if we're being honest is probably a lot, and also food. Basically, bring a college kid food means you've won them over for life. They will never forget you or your face.

But after they bring you stuff, sometimes it's hard to know what to do with your parents while they visit. Sometimes they argue, which is definitely something you don't miss about them, because they argue right in front of you about which way they should go to get back to the college, even though you know exactly where it is an they should just ask you, and they also know that confrontation literally gives you panic attacks, but they do it anyway. But that might not apply to you. But parents are often stressed when they come to visit their child at college. They worry that their child won't need them anymore. They're worried about what they'll find after leaving you in a strange environment for three or four weeks. They're worried you might have gotten your tongue pierced.

Of course, eventually (hopefully) the arguing dies down, and then you can have nice, relaxed conversations. This is the fun part! They'll tell you all about what's happening at home, and you tell them all the things you've never mentioned on the phone. It's a great exchange of ideas! Or something. Maybe not ideas.

And most importantly, they might take you to eat food. Food that isn't cafeteria food. Like I said before, food is the way to any college student's heart. They will love you forever.

You should try and give them a tour around campus. Because it's really a lot more fun to be a college kid on campus with a parent when you know where you're going versus when you were a prospective college kid on campus with a parent where you have no clue where you're going. You can laugh at all the touring children, believing you're so much better off than them, because you've been here for three whole weeks now, and you know everything, and they know nothing except that maybe a sidewalk will bring them to their car, somewhere. And you should always point and cackle. Evilly.

When your parents leave, you might be sad. But you might also be a little bit relieved because parents can be exhausting. It's important to know that both of these emotions are important, and you should embrace both of them, but you should focus on the relief you feel, because relief means adjustment. If you're like me, which you probably are, if you're still here reading this blog, this might be the first sign you have that you're doing okay at college.

Because college is good. And you won't die. No dying allowed. The end.